This is usually done from a position of authority (e.g., coach, teacher, religious leader) or status (e.g. They are weaker and more vulnerable than those who sexually abuse or exploit them – who use their greater size, strength and knowledge to manipulate or coerce boys into unwanted sexual experiences and staying silent. Whether you agree with that definition of masculinity or not, boys are not men. (See How It Can Be Different for Men and How Being Male Can Make It Hard to Heal.) Successful men are depicted as never being vulnerable, either physically or emotionally. This myth implies that a boy or man who has been sexually used or abused will never be a “real man.” Our society expects males to be able to protect themselves. It’s central to masculine gender socialization, and boys pick up on it very early in life. The myth that boys can’t be sexually used or abused, and if one is, he can never be a “real man.”Įveryone absorbs the myth that males aren’t victims, to some extent.
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Sexual abuse is the result of abusive behavior that takes advantage of a child’s vulnerability and is in no way related to the sexual orientation of the abusive person.
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Boys can be sexually abused by both straight and gay men and women.Sexual abuse and assault harms boys/men and girls/women in ways that are similar and different, but equally harmful.If a boy liked the attention he was getting, or got sexually aroused during the abuse, or even sometimes wanted the attention or sexual contact, this does not mean he wanted or liked being manipulated or abused, or that any part of what happened, in any way, was his responsibility or fault.Boys and men can be sexually used or abused, and it has nothing to do with how masculine they are.